A life of stretcher bar manufacture
"Them thingies, erm.........woody things, woodies (*LOL), that do the thing to your canvas. You know? spread them"
"Yes that's them, Wedgers"
*Actual conversation I have had.....
Wedges, keys, wooden things, woodies or wedgers, call them what you like, but you get them in mostly all stretcher bar suppliers stretcher bars, but, what are they and what do they do? Why are some plastic? Why are some wood? Well you know, the answer is simple. But i'm going to write a whole post on it anyway. So strap yourself in because today we're talking about Woodies (*still LOL), erm, I mean Wedges.
Victorians did some good stuff. Inventing the light bulb (though Edison was a thief), the car (though it's ruined the planet) and ushering in the Industrial Revolution (though they had some issues with health and safety). However one of the greatest inventions was the camera, well photographic processes and film anyway. But the one thing you think of when thinking of photographs from this era is just how miserable and stone faced Victorians were. My word, were they a dull and lifeless bunch? But have you ever asked the question why? No, well I did.
Your home is a death trap. Yes you heard me. A death trap. A death trap for taught canvas. There you are burning away dead dinosaurs in the depths of winter, making your houses akin to the surface of the sun, so you don't die of hypothermia, selfish. Then off you go to work, burn fewer dead dinosaurs and your home reverts to a semi Siberian environment.
All this time your stretched canvas sitting on your wall is silently seething. Silently cursing you under its woven canvas breath. Its stretcher bar arms in a constant flux of expand and contract. Its wooden wedged fingers slowly losing their grasp of the corners.
Well, actually, I'm pretty sure that if this was possible then people would. Hey, it's a car. Who wouldn't want to download a car?
However, as its not yet possible, I dare say some people would make do with downloading your unprotected photo of a car. Then printing your photo of a car. Having the photo of your car stretched on canvas. Selling that photo of your car stretched onto canvas to a mate, because, hey, you can't download them yet and photo's of cars are cool. Having other people see that the photo of your car can be stretched on a canvas. Asking for their own stretched canvas of your car and putting your picture of your car on their walls.
I assure you this picture is relevant. Here's a lighthearted look at how you should roll your painting for shipment or storage. Before you read on you'll need one tub of butter or margarine, an elbow and a sense of humor.
3D printing may well be the future of physical picture frames and canvas prints. What could be more simple than pressing a button and waiting for your 3D printed frame to finish to hang on the wall? But, what of the images in the picture frames. Should we take them ourselves or have someone else produce them? Or how about have a computer do it? The future of a physical photo and painting may be destined to doom.....
You just took some beautiful pictures with your lovely new iPhone. What now? Well first, you can save them to the 1 terabyte of hard drive space on your new laptop and then stream them to your 3d Smart TV. Your friend wants to see them? Simple, send them over the internet , to another country or plaster them over social media for everyone to see. You can store them on your 3 terabyte backup NAS server and look at them when you like. Sounds great doesn't it? Printing your memories is for losers. Why hang a canvas print on a wall, don't they just fall off and break? Photo's get lost, get put up the loft and forgotten about. Printed photos are just a way of making money for big rich companies. This is 2015 people! Come on, what's this 1990?